November 25th, 2019

love a nerd

LJI: feckless

It waa Super Bowl Sunday 1998 when my daughter just came home with this guy and now she's engaged. That would be great if he were a better person. The problem is, the guy's a bum.

No matter which way you want to look at it, he's twenty years old with no plans, no education past high school, doesn't drive, and still lives at home with his mother. Yet he still thinks he'll be a good provider for my daughter.

She's nineteen though, and she doesn't want to hear it. I try to drop hints, and she doesn't pick up on them. I told her about my cousin's husband - who did nothing play with rocks his whole life - while she worked her tail off as a nurse and raising their family.

I asked him on the first night she brought him over exactly what his goals in life were. He gave me some mumbo-jumbo story about wanting to start a record shop. Who's interested in records? For God's sake, it's almost the 21st century.

She and I always haven't gotten along. I'm a realist, and she's a dreamer. She's always been chaotic and disorganized, lost in her own world, always with a book in hand. the doctors when she was in school thought she had autism. I don't really understand it, so I tell her she's got to staying on task disorder.

I don't understand what that is, either.

I keep hoping that eventually, something's going to click. But it doesn't. She's never been in a serious relationship before. This isn't the right guy to spend the rest of her life with.

And now it's July of 1999 and they're supposed to get married. He still hasn't accomplished anything. They're going to be moving into an attic apartment above his grandfather's house. It's a little bit better than moving in with his mother, I guess.

She is still a few months short of 21 when they get married. I'm still not happy about this, but I walk her down the aisle and give her away. She seems so happy, and I hope I'm wrong about him.

Four years later, it turns out that I wasn't. She leaves a devastated message on our voicemail. He's going to be sentenced to 5 years in prison. We try to encourage her to move back in with us. Maybe she'll finish school. Realize that there's more out there than this life that she's given herself. Divorce him and move forward with a good man, not this feckless asshole.

I just keep hoping and praying every day that she'll make the right choice. And she's still young with plenty of time to move forward.

My hope is that she finally does it.